You probably heard it: On average, people gain fifteen pounds in the first few years after their wedding.
It is only natural that we want to pamper our spouses and want to feed them – the birds and the animals do it. The point is to put the right and healthful morsels in your spouse’s mouth. Because food can hurt. And food can heal.
Also: Get moving – together! Because marriage can be more than watching the same TV programs for fifty years from the same sofa.
Here a few ideas:
- Attend a cooking course together
- Alternate who prepares breakfast and cooking dinner - and then discuss after which meals you feel better
- Stop all snacks, preferably before you have children who will follow your example
- Plan an outdoors activity every weekend: a hike, a bike tour, a walk, a (healthy) picnic, a dive - whatever moves you
- Have sex often – it’s good for the marriage and good for the immune systems
- Take turns on a simple rowing machine/stationary bike in front of TV
- Eliminate all dairy (butter, cream, yogurt, milk, cheese, etc.) most of the time – and experience the difference
- Find recipes for a sinful birthday cake made without flour (hint: Viennese walnut cake - made of nuts and cream)
- Don't spend your money on juices and soft beverages; stick to water, herbal teas, green tea, black tea.
Hug and kiss and touch often – and have a happy marriage! Read More
Blog: On Health. On Writing. On Life. On Everything.
What Stays
August 8, 2011
Coming from another funeral - this time in Europe - the question lingers: What stays if we have to die anyway?
In this case, love stayed. Love stayed long after the body of the loved one was felled by a series of strokes. For a dozen years the spouse cared for the loved one, with a thousand fears and doubts and difficulties, but never faltering. After all those many years, the loved one died at home, with the family by the bedside. - We all wish for such a death.
And such a love. Not asking what is in there for me. But asking what is the needed thing to do now. - We hear too much about who should be allowed to marry and who not. We should hear more what marriage involves. Not figuring out what he/she does wrong, but what he/she needs now. Whenever I feel sorry that I am not getting what I want, I feel a distances from the people I am with. When I ask: What can I give? What does he/she need now?, I feel close - and rewarded.
(It goes without saying that I don't condone cruelty, abuse, and the myriad of vices that make a marriage unbearable.)
We all know too many examples of the contrasting outcome: The spouse divorces the ailing partner, and runs away with the money, to a better life.
A better life? I cannot think of life and time better applied than caring thus. Read More
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